Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Holding Space for each other

Thank you for your emails and comments! YOU encourage me to continue to write and share my thoughts, my heart! Hugs and thank YOU!
Indeed, I am increasingly more aware that living an authentic life is not only self rewarding... it is rewarding to others too.. and that is exciting to me as my path has always been that of a healer.

It can be scary to "step out" and be ourselves ....but there is SO much healing and growth that takes place when we live our lives authentically and with an open heart!

A long time ago an old friend told me: "Claudia, your biggest strength is also your biggest weakness... "  I looked at him and listened intently as he slowly continued ( he was much older than I was and had this humongous beard and slooow way of speaking that made it seem as though at any moment he would pull out a magic wand!)....

He said:

"Claudia, you wear your heart on your sleeve. This will attract many people to you, many will love you for it, some will envy you, some will hurt you. Don't change, just be aware and protect your heart."

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Well, I had no idea what that meant at the time...but since then, I have learned that part of that "protection" is to pull close and bask in the intimacy of good friends and friendships where we are able to lovingly hold "space" for each other.

Indeed, just last week I finished my latest energy painting, I was not sure what the piece had in store as a message for me... and yesterday they revealed their meaning to me, it is:
 "holding space for each other"

 Holding space for someone means:

When someone is going through a difficult time, we support them to have their own space to work out whatever they’re going through.....We provide emotional safety and stability for them to be completely where they’re at, without judgment, criticism or blame. Lovingly allowing the other to just... be.
                                                                  To do so we must:

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    ~have an open heart
    ~listen-allow the other to "experience" their own feelings, being non-judgmental and non reactive to what is being expressed
    ~do not try to "fix" -allow the other to fully express their emotions -if you are familiar with EFT- it is a wonderful tool to use at this time. EFT is all about expressing and allowing for negative emotions to transform us by giving them a voice-
full expression alone is deeply healing!

Holding space is about giving people the 'space' to actually feel their emotions and see their thoughts in the raw! Cussing may happen, crying may happen, silence may happen, anger...you name it... and as it is released..so it is: "let go"....

 This is profoundly healing work people! 

In lovingly held "space" we find safety and comfort in sharing from the pit of our private hell  consequently we then carry much less pain in our lives because we are not carrying a cesspool of repressed  emotions!
So yes, being one who lives with her "heart on her sleeve", I am most grateful to those who "hold space" for me. And you know, it is not only something that can be done by those who have known you for years, I recently started hanging out with the dear friend of one of my dear friends... and within hours of having met... she already was "holding space" for me. It can just happen! It is not this huge methodical thing that you have to do... it takes a generous spirit and good listening skills, lots of compassion, a bit of good empathy... and that is it!
Who do you hold space for in your life?
Who holds space for you?

If you can not think of anyone... time to start thinking..because all of us have at least one person in our lives who is willing to hold space for us.... all of us can make ourselves available to hold space for another. I know I have even held space for others on Twitter my friends! Yes, YOU can!
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