1) They must be the strongest. The Scapegoat has to bear the sins of the entire family. They have to survive, alone, in the “desert” without the comfort or support of the family. So they must be strong in order to carry the burden.
2) They must be the most loving. The Scapegoat sacrifices him or herself for the benefit of the family. Again, this is somewhat subconscious, but only some level they know they are doing this. They give up themselves so the family may appear to be “OK”.
I am so grateful to my friends online and offline who have reached out to me. I have found great comfort in all of you. I have been enveloped in a blanket of lovingcare thank you, one of the first challenges of this battle to "get back to me" is to learn how to take good care of myself without the dream of the supportive, loving family of origin. It's an easy adjustment, in a way, because I never had it to begin with... it was just a dream based on a facade (very typical in narcissistic/scapegoat family systems), but it is not easy... and I appreciate your love and prayers!
with love always,